As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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