I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
