went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
