weddingsv make me drug and hornr
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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