I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
