I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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