just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
