I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
