Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
