And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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