can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
My penis needs a shock collar
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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