he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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