I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
