it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I don't think brook has ever known best
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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