i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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