Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
