yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
