Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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