Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
