Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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