Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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