If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I think i peed on brittanys purse
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
