I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Found the puke drawer
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
