Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize