Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
