Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize