i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize