Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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