We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
