would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
