do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
