We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
