btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
