i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
