I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I have post one night stand depression
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