what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
