Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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