Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
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