DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The air taste purple.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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