my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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