Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
