we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
