What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
