I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize