Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
