She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
