I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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