The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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