This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
