Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
