Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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