I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
