I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
