She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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