I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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