they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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