Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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