p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
only if we run a train.
done.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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