I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
