69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Randomize