Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
A+ Viking dick
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