You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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