i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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