How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just gift wrapped bread.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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