just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
