just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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