How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
