I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Randomize
